Katy’s Story of Control and Manipulation from Her Husband


The MEND Project

Meet Katy.

Katy was born in Cleveland, OH. and was raised in a loving, conservative Christian home. When she was 22, she met and fell in love with a man from her church who became her husband.

In this story of emotional abuse, you’re going to hear:

  • A survivor story of control and manipulation
  • How isolation can make abuse more dangerous and destructive
  • How Double Abuse® can happen when victims try to talk about their trauma
  • How there IS hope and help for victims of abuse

It Started During Their Engagement

During their engagement, Katy began to notice issues of control and manipulation.

After they married, they moved to Los Angeles—away from family and friends, and joined a new church. 

He led worship, and they co-led Bible studies.

But her husband was vastly different in public than he was in private. 

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Control and Manipulation Became The ‘Norm’

Control and manipulation became deep emotional abuse. Katy learned he was a sex addict and was cheating on her.

The wounds Katy received from the abuse and betrayal of her husband were causing deep scars for Katy. 

She knew she needed help, but did not know what to do, because divorce had never been presented as an option for her as a Christian. 

Desperate, Katy cried out to her spiritual advisor for help.

Unfortunately, Help Didn’t Find Her

Because she didn’t have physical scars from his abuse, her cries for help were considered “over-dramatic” and “over-sensitive.” 

She was told to “keep praying”, “go home”, “be submissive”, and to just “make it work.” 

Worse yet, while he was still cheating on her, she was told to make sure she was having sex with him.

Katy and her ex-husband did not get the help they needed, and they divorced. 

He ended up moving further away from the church that wouldn’t see the problem or help him, and Katy had to leave to get help.

You Are Not Alone

Abuse of this type is far too common—and if you’re a victim or a survivor, we can help you. 

Click here to find resources and help.

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