Picture this: Sarah and her boyfriend had been having problems, and things were getting worse. One night, their arguing intensified, and he threw Sarah into a wall. Although he immediately apologized, Sarah knew she needed help. The next day, she confided in her coworker, someone who she also considered a friend. Sarah hoped to get…
Is there someone in your life who treats you as if you aren’t a valuable person, who often ignores what you say and doesn’t engage with you in what seems like a normal manner? Or maybe someone close to you has given you the silent treatment or held back any emotional reaction or connection? Keep…
Last week on the blog we talked about covert emotional abuse, what it is, how it
manifests and how confusing it can be. This week, we want to share a story from
Jessica, a covert emotional abuse survivor. Her story contains a litany of covert
emotional abuse behaviors by her husband. Jessica’s story might help you recognize
and identify abusive behaviors in your own relationships or in relationships of loved
ones. We will let her words speak for themselves, but if you have any questions
about what you read, please comment or contact The M3ND Project for support.
One minute I was sitting at lunch with a close group of girlfriends and the next minute, I found myself waking up on the floor of the restaurant. I had fainted. One of my friends had casually asked me how I was doing and mentioned the name of my abuser. I was in such a…
I can remember sitting there, my head in my hands, feet in the sand, my thoughts spinning in my mind. . . I feel “crazy”. How can I be getting this so wrong? Why do I feel so horrible? Why can’t I figure this out? Am I just ineffective at articulating my words? Will there…
My heart stopped. I knew my former husband was either dead or again had robbed and ended up in jail. Hands shaking, heart thumping, I made the awful phone call.
My husband’s words hurt worse than fists. I endured constant emotional abuse until I finally saw through him, when he left me at my father’s funeral.
My husband’s jealousy and porn addiction quickly spiraled out of control, but when I turned to counselors and church for help, I was met with derision.
I learned from a young age that mistakes, even simple mistakes on a homework assignment, equaled pain. I feared my father’s hands until I filled my own with love.
When most women think about “intimate partner violence” typically bruises or broken bones come to mind, but abuse is not always that black and white. In fact, the gray area of abuse can go undetected for months, sometimes even years or decades because it’s hard to pinpoint or describe. It’s called “covert emotional abuse.” These are the hard to name, hidden, manipulative tactics sometimes rooted in motive to harm, sometimes rooted in defensiveness in order to avoid responsibility. Prolonged abuse of this nature causes emotional and psychological harm, trauma and physical illness. In fact it is considered one of the most destructive forms of abuse.