{"id":8837,"date":"2023-05-16T17:01:00","date_gmt":"2023-05-17T00:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/?p=8837"},"modified":"2026-08-25T07:06:44","modified_gmt":"2026-08-25T14:06:44","slug":"healing-from-emotional-abuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/es\/healing-from-emotional-abuse\/","title":{"rendered":"Healing from Emotional Abuse: 5 Essential Steps to Fully Recover"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you have experienced any form of emotional abuse \u2013 whether from a family member, friend, or romantic partner \u2013 it can be hard to imagine healing is possible. You may have even resigned yourself to never feeling &#8220;normal&#8221; again.<\/p>\n<p>We believe you can find healing!<\/p>\n<p>This article is meant to give you hope to heal from emotional abuse.<\/p>\n<p>In this blog post, we will:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">Explore five essential steps for healing from emotional abuse and how to tailor them to your unique needs.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">Understand common obstacles and how to overcome them, including setting boundaries and finding effective support.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">Discover valuable resources and tools, including recommended books, support groups, and professional help, to aid your recovery.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/es\/find-clarity-and-healing-course\/\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"outline: none;\"><\/a>There are several things you can do to help yourself restore from an emotionally abusive relationship, and here we will share five of them.<\/p>\n<p>As you read through a few ideas, you get to decide what will work best for you!<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Step 1: Educate Yourself<\/h2>\n<p>Knowledge brings clarity, and clarity helps you to overcome prolonged states of stress and confusion.<\/p>\n<p>When we can clearly describe, define, and delineate abusive actions with proper language, it helps us reduce trauma symptoms.<\/p>\n<p>The more you understand the destructive behaviors used against you, the better equipped you will be to set boundaries against abuse in the future.<\/p>\n<p>And when you realize you are not alone and you are not &#8220;crazy,&#8221; you will restore confidence, and your mental health will improve.<\/p>\n<p>So, where can you start?<\/p>\n<p>Explore material that <a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/es\/abuso-emocional\/\" target=\"_blank\">informs you about emotional abuse<\/a>, narcissistic abuse, the root causes, and the best ways to heal.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">Read <a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/es\/best-books-about-abuse\/\" target=\"_blank\">books on abuse and trauma<\/a>.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">Listen to vlogs, podcasts, webinars, videos, and e-books.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">Take online courses.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You can begin with these <a href=\"\/es\/recursos\/\" style=\"outline: none;\">free downloadable guides and training here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>For a comprehensive guide to recovering from emotional abuse, consider investing in our course, <a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/es\/find-clarity-and-healing-course\/\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"outline: none;\"><em>Encontrar claridad y sanaci\u00f3n en relaciones dif\u00edciles, confusas o abusivas<\/em><\/a><em>.<\/em> This self-paced course provides in-depth coaching calls and materials to help you identify and articulate relationship conflict patterns, offering clear and actionable strategies for meaningful healing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Note<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong> Education is particularly important for people who grew up in abusive homes because abuse was normalized during their developmental years. This is especially true if it is emotional or narcissistic abuse, as it makes it difficult to distinguish between healthy and abusive behavior without intervention. With more overt forms such as physical, sexual, or overt psychological abuse, even a child knows something is wrong. With hidden forms of emotional abuse, the child may not know something is wrong but may consider themselves unlovable or broken in some way since they did not receive emotional support from their primary caregiver. Education can help resolve these challenges.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Step 2: Learn to Love Yourself Well<\/h2>\n<p>It takes time to learn to love yourself well after abuse. Yet, we often see survivors embark on transformative self-love journeys here at MEND.<\/p>\n<p>Self-love is at the core of restoration after abuse. It\u2019s also one of the best ways to stay out of unhealthy relationships, as a deficit of self-love strongly influences relationship choices.<\/p>\n<p>Growing in self-love helps survivors learn to trust their gut and restore a strong sense of self. Learning to trust your gut is essential as you learn to love yourself well!<\/p>\n<p>To read our blog post on how to love yourself after emotional abuse, <a href=\"\/es\/how-to-love-yourself-after-abuse\/\" style=\"outline: none;\">click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Some additional ideas for loving yourself well:<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">Take Good Care of Yourself<\/h3>\n<p>If you\u2019re not ready to attend that family function, saying \u201cno, thank you\u201d is okay.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve likely spent years taking care of other people\u2019s emotions. It\u2019s time to listen to yours and honor them.<\/p>\n<p>While healing, there may be times when it\u2019s important to stretch yourself emotionally, especially when you feel like isolating.<\/p>\n<p>Healing in isolation is difficult. We need community. And keep it light and enjoyable. You are not required to talk about your situation unless you want to.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Pay Attention to How You Feel<\/h3>\n<p>Keeping a journal where you can land all your thoughts and feelings is beneficial for healing.<\/p>\n<p>When memories of prior abuse come to mind, write what happened and how it made you feel. You may have spent years stuffing down memories and feelings that need to come up to be healed. As hard as it can be to feel uncomfortable feelings, there is healing in feeling.<\/p>\n<p>The same is true for children who have experienced emotional abuse; there is a tendency to suppress their emotions in the hope they will disappear. Unfortunately, this isn\u2019t effective at resolving them.<\/p>\n<p>Listening to and acknowledging your feelings and emotions are essential self-love practices and can prevent long-term physical complications.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">Declare Your Worth<\/h3>\n<p>Address negative self-talk as soon as you notice it and replace it with what is true about you!<\/p>\n<p>The best way to counter negative self-talk is by speaking positive self-affirmations aloud. Declaring your value and worth signals the brain to shut down negative internal dialogue, calm anxiety, and restore peace.<\/p>\n<p>When you start this practice, you may not feel or believe the positive self-talk is true. However, over time, if you stick with it, you will soon come to see and know yourself in the right light as the person you truly are.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">Forgive Yourself<\/h3>\n<p>We all make mistakes and take missteps. If you feel you have made mistakes, you may be hard on yourself for them. Forgiving yourself is a powerful act of self-love.<\/p>\n<p>For example, you may be mad at yourself for entering the relationship when you knew there were red flags, or you may be hard on yourself for waiting too long to leave.<\/p>\n<p>We all make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time. Don\u2019t be too hard on yourself. Let yourself off the hook!<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"\">Step 3: Find a Safe and Supportive Community<\/h2>\n<p>It\u2019s crucial to surround yourself with people who have empathy and compassion and will offer you the time and space to process your story and heal.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s possible that many people have violated your trust and hurt you with how they responded to your disclosure of abuse. Part of creating a strong support system is to remove harmful people from your inner support circle regardless of past relationships or how close you used to be.<\/p>\n<p>Guard and guide your heart. Choose mindfully who you confide in; may they be people who fully believe you and support you.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\"><em>A special note about family:<\/em><\/h3>\n<p>You might hesitate to set boundaries out of fear of losing familial relationships or because you rely on them for financial support. However, this doesn\u2019t mean you need to expose yourself vulnerably or justify every decision you make. They will likely not comprehend or may not wish to understand, and that\u2019s something beyond your control. Right now, it\u2019s not your job to educate them.<\/p>\n<p>It is okay to place and firmly maintain boundaries with your family to safeguard your emotional well-being.<\/p>\n<p>Many survivors find healthy support communities when they join an abuse support group or group therapy. It can be very validating and empowering to be around others with similar experiences.<\/p>\n<p>In time, your confidence will build, and you will learn to trust your instincts about people and have healthy relationships.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Step 4: Seek Professional Help<\/h2>\n<p>Therapy with a highly skilled abuse and trauma therapist who is trauma-informed is one of the most effective ways to heal from abuse and trauma.<\/p>\n<p>For help with this, read <a href=\"\/es\/therapist-for-relationships\/\" style=\"outline: none;\">\u201cHow to Choose a Relationship Therapist for Your Troubled Relationship.\u201d<\/a> You will learn more about finding the right therapist and knowing when to quit therapy.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Step 5: Practice a Healthy Lifestyle<\/h2>\n<p>Our fifth tip for healing from emotional abuse is to practice a healthy lifestyle.<\/p>\n<p>This will look different during different healing stages, so be kind and patient with yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Here are some ideas to foster a healthy lifestyle:<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">Movement<\/h3>\n<p>We suggest moving your body if you are able to.<\/p>\n<p>Go for a walk, run, or hike. Try yoga, calisthenics, or dancing.<\/p>\n<p>Exercise reduces stress hormones, anxiety, and depression and promotes healing in measurable ways.<\/p>\n<p>Plus, exercise classes could be a way to get out of isolation and connect with like-minded people.<\/p>\n<p>You may not be able to do some of these activities initially, but in time, we hope you will be able to make healthy movement a part of your daily well-being practice.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Nourishment<\/h3>\n<p>Healthy nutrition will help stimulate your brain and body.<\/p>\n<p>This may look different for different people.<\/p>\n<p>Just remember that when emotions become overwhelming, it\u2019s easy to develop unhealthy habits that can be hard to overcome. Do your best to nourish your body well.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Rest<\/h3>\n<p>Sleep is essential for healing. Make sure you are getting enough of it.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s common for victims and survivors to struggle with adrenal fatigue, which can interrupt sleep.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s okay if you need support from a healthcare professional for medication or supplements.<\/p>\n<p>Start small with these 5 steps and take it as slowly as needed. We believe you can achieve the healing you deserve.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"\">Know That The Abuse You Experienced Is Not Your Fault<\/h2>\n<p>The emotional abuse you experienced is not your fault.<\/p>\n<p>Before we tell you why it\u2019s not your fault, you may want to take a moment to recognize any shame or responsibility you are feeling for the harm you received and the pain from the abusive relationship. Recognizing this is fundamental to your recovery.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s explore a few key reasons you might feel emotional abuse is your fault:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>You were conditioned by your emotional abuser through constant criticism and reverse blaming, among other tactics, to believe it was your fault.<\/li>\n<li>You may have responded or reacted in ways that don\u2019t make you proud. Traumatic reactions are automatic responses caused by the ongoing trauma of recurring relationship abuse, compelling the survivor to respond in fight, flight, freeze, or appease mode. This is known as reactive abuse but would be more appropriately named \u201creactive defense.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Self-blame may help you see your partner in a more positive light, which you may want to believe.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>You are not responsible for the faulty mindsets, destructive beliefs, or worldviews of your emotional abuser, which are the root causes of their abusive behavior.<\/p>\n<p>We don\u2019t want you to sit in self-blame any longer!<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">How to Accept that Abuse Is Not Your Fault<\/h3>\n<p>Here are some ideas to help you with self-compassion:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Acknowledge what happened and see through an accurate lens.<\/li>\n<li>Nothing about who you are or what you do can excuse their choice to abuse you.<\/li>\n<li>Many survivors feel ashamed about the abuse because they ignored early warning signs, didn\u2019t leave sooner or seek support, or weren\u2019t able to make it stop. There is nothing you can do to stop it. Abusers have deeply rooted faulty beliefs. You did your best with the information you had at the time.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Go deeper into the reasons the abuse is not your fault <a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/es\/abuse-is-never-the-victims-fault\/\" style=\"outline: none;\">aqu\u00ed<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>If you accept that the abuse was not your fault, you may find other roadblocks along your journey to healing. Let\u2019s take a look at a few of them and discuss how to address them:<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">Overcoming Obstacles to Healing<\/h3>\n<p>Is it possible to heal from emotional abuse?<\/p>\n<p>Yes, absolutely!<\/p>\n<p>Some survivors struggle to heal because they believe they lack the resources for healing.<\/p>\n<p>Some feel it\u2019s too painful to face the trauma of past abuse they endured.<\/p>\n<p>Other survivors stop the process prematurely because it feels too difficult to endure. Unfortunately, the trauma won\u2019t disappear on its own.<\/p>\n<p>Another common obstacle is the fear of being alone. This fear can lead survivors to confide in unhealthy family members or form social relationships with people who don&#8217;t understand emotional abuse.<\/p>\n<p>When survivors prioritize healing, they will make hard decisions about who they open up to and how to limit their interactions with people\u2014including family members or friends who are not fully aligned with them.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, some survivors may find their healing journey interrupted when, after being away from the abuse for a while, they begin to doubt the severity of their experience, thinking, \u201cit wasn\u2019t that bad.\u201d Be prepared for this by keeping a journal and writing down all the reasons you decided to leave the toxic relationship behind. When negative emotions flood you, write them down. Then, when you find yourself confused or challenged by the healing process, pull out the journal to remind yourself of why you are on this journey to heal from emotional abuse.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s essential to have one safe person or friend who has been there all along to remind you of everything you shared when the memory was still fresh.<\/p>\n<p>When you cultivate a healthy and strong support system and embrace effective healing practices, you can achieve self-restoration.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">Tailor Your Healing<\/h3>\n<p>Everyone is different, including in how they heal.<\/p>\n<p>Not all survivors of emotional abuse experience the same mental, emotional, or physical symptoms of trauma and, therefore, won\u2019t benefit from the same type of treatment.<\/p>\n<p>Here are some of the effects of emotional abuse, which might require different healing modalities:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Depresi\u00f3n<\/li>\n<li>Anxiety<\/li>\n<li>Profound confusion, fragmented thinking, and memory loss<\/li>\n<li>Physical pain, stress, or unexplained illnesses<\/li>\n<li>Auto-immune disorders<\/li>\n<li>Heart disease<\/li>\n<li>Eating disorders<\/li>\n<li>Digestive issues<\/li>\n<li>Chronic headaches or migraines<\/li>\n<li>Substance abuse disorders<\/li>\n<li>Obesity<\/li>\n<li>Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder<\/li>\n<li>Complex-PTSD<\/li>\n<li>Sleep disorders and nightmares<\/li>\n<li>Insecurity and trust issues<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>You may have experienced something that is not on the list. Acknowledge it so you can begin healing.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">Encouragement for the Road Ahead<\/h3>\n<p>Have grace for yourself. Be patient with yourself.<\/p>\n<p>If you have difficulty caring for yourself, try to find someone to help you. It\u2019s okay to ask for help. Your wants and needs matter.<\/p>\n<p>You may need to build a cocoon around yourself for a time in which all you do is create a calm space to rest, pray, write, read, and heal.<\/p>\n<p>Your brain and body need to recover and restore. And you don\u2019t need to explain yourself to anyone.<\/p>\n<p>When it feels good, and you\u2019re ready, connect with safe friends &#8211; even just one or two. Maybe the safest friends you\u2019ll connect with are ones from a new exercise or art class.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">Additional Tools and Resources<\/h3>\n<p>Below are some of our favorite tools and resources:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The MEND Project training and special workshops for survivors include free monthly interactive workshops. Find out more here: <a href=\"\/es\/mend-trainings\/\">MEND Training and Courses<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>The Flying Free Podcast, support groups, and coaching by Natalie Hoffman at Flying Free.<\/li>\n<li>We recommend these authors who talk about abuse, trauma, and how to heal: Dr. Judith Herman, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Patricia Evans, Leslie Vernick, Ross Rosenberg, and Lundy Bancroft. Each of them has authored multiple excellent books.<\/li>\n<li>\u201cCreated to Thrive,\u201d a book about creating Abuse-Free Church Cultures, Annette contributed two chapters.<\/li>\n<li>The National Domestic Violence Hotline. Their telephone hotline (800.799.7233) and website are full of beneficial resources, including lists of domestic violence shelters and other resources available across the nation. Each domestic violence service agency provides different services and benefits. It\u2019s worth making a few calls to locate an agency that provides the services you need.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 style=\"\">Conclusi\u00f3n<\/h2>\n<p>Healing from emotional abuse is a personal journey that requires us to be kind and gentle with ourselves and have patience and self-compassion.<\/p>\n<p>Progress may be slow and gradual, but with the right tools and support in place, healing and restoration are entirely possible.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you have experienced any form of emotional abuse \u2013 whether from a family member, friend, or romantic partner \u2013 it can be hard to imagine healing is possible. You may have even resigned yourself to never feeling &#8220;normal&#8221; again. We believe you can find healing! This article is meant to give you hope to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":9149,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>If you have experienced any form of emotional abuse \u2013 whether from a family member, friend, or romantic partner \u2013 it can be hard to imagine healing is possible. You may have even resigned yourself to never feeling \"normal\" again.<\/p><p>We believe you can find healing!<\/p><p>This article is meant to give you hope to heal from emotional abuse.<\/p><p>In this blog post, we will:<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4d8228\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4d822c\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4d8227\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4d8229\" style=\"\">Explore five essential steps for healing from emotional abuse and how to tailor them to your unique needs.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4d822d\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4d8227\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4d8229\" style=\"\">Understand common obstacles and how to overcome them, including setting boundaries and finding effective support.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4d822b\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4d8227\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4d8229\" style=\"\">Discover valuable resources and tools, including recommended books, support groups, and professional help, to aid your recovery.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/find-clarity-and-healing-course\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\"><\/a>There are several things you can do to help yourself restore from an emotionally abusive relationship, and here we will share five of them.<\/p><p>As you read through a few ideas, you get to decide what will work best for you!<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Step 1: Educate Yourself<\/h2><p>Knowledge brings clarity, and clarity helps you to overcome prolonged states of stress and confusion.<\/p><p>When we can clearly describe, define, and delineate abusive actions with proper language, it helps us reduce trauma symptoms.<\/p><p>The more you understand the destructive behaviors used against you, the better equipped you will be to set boundaries against abuse in the future.<\/p><p>And when you realize you are not alone and you are not \"crazy,\" you will restore confidence, and your mental health will improve.<\/p><p>So, where can you start?<\/p><p>Explore material that <a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/emotional-abuse\/\" target=\"_blank\">informs you about emotional abuse<\/a>, narcissistic abuse, the root causes, and the best ways to heal.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-arrow-right-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4f0f07\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4f0f0b\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4f0f06\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" data-id=\"icon-arrow-right-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M190.5 66.9l22.2-22.2c9.4-9.4 24.6-9.4 33.9 0L441 239c9.4 9.4 9.4 24.6 0 33.9L246.6 467.3c-9.4 9.4-24.6 9.4-33.9 0l-22.2-22.2c-9.5-9.5-9.3-25 .4-34.3L311.4 296H24c-13.3 0-24-10.7-24-24v-32c0-13.3 10.7-24 24-24h287.4L190.9 101.2c-9.8-9.3-10-24.8-.4-34.3z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4f0f08\" style=\"\">Read <a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/best-books-about-abuse\/\" target=\"_blank\">books on abuse and trauma<\/a>.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4f0f0c\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4f0f06\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" data-id=\"icon-arrow-right-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M190.5 66.9l22.2-22.2c9.4-9.4 24.6-9.4 33.9 0L441 239c9.4 9.4 9.4 24.6 0 33.9L246.6 467.3c-9.4 9.4-24.6 9.4-33.9 0l-22.2-22.2c-9.5-9.5-9.3-25 .4-34.3L311.4 296H24c-13.3 0-24-10.7-24-24v-32c0-13.3 10.7-24 24-24h287.4L190.9 101.2c-9.8-9.3-10-24.8-.4-34.3z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4f0f08\" style=\"\">Listen to vlogs, podcasts, webinars, videos, and e-books.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4f0f0a\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4f0f06\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" data-id=\"icon-arrow-right-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M190.5 66.9l22.2-22.2c9.4-9.4 24.6-9.4 33.9 0L441 239c9.4 9.4 9.4 24.6 0 33.9L246.6 467.3c-9.4 9.4-24.6 9.4-33.9 0l-22.2-22.2c-9.5-9.5-9.3-25 .4-34.3L311.4 296H24c-13.3 0-24-10.7-24-24v-32c0-13.3 10.7-24 24-24h287.4L190.9 101.2c-9.8-9.3-10-24.8-.4-34.3z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca4f0f08\" style=\"\">Take online courses.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><p>You can begin with these <a href=\"\/resources\/\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\">free downloadable guides and training here<\/a>.<\/p><p>For a comprehensive guide to recovering from emotional abuse, consider investing in our course, <a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/find-clarity-and-healing-course\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\"><em>Finding Clarity and Healing in Difficult, Confusing, or Abusive Relationships<\/em><\/a><em>.<\/em> This self-paced course provides in-depth coaching calls and materials to help you identify and articulate relationship conflict patterns, offering clear and actionable strategies for meaningful healing.<\/p><p><strong>Note<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong> Education is particularly important for people who grew up in abusive homes because abuse was normalized during their developmental years. This is especially true if it is emotional or narcissistic abuse, as it makes it difficult to distinguish between healthy and abusive behavior without intervention. With more overt forms such as physical, sexual, or overt psychological abuse, even a child knows something is wrong. With hidden forms of emotional abuse, the child may not know something is wrong but may consider themselves unlovable or broken in some way since they did not receive emotional support from their primary caregiver. Education can help resolve these challenges.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Step 2: Learn to Love Yourself Well<\/h2><p>It takes time to learn to love yourself well after abuse. Yet, we often see survivors embark on transformative self-love journeys here at MEND.<\/p><p>Self-love is at the core of restoration after abuse. It\u2019s also one of the best ways to stay out of unhealthy relationships, as a deficit of self-love strongly influences relationship choices.<\/p><p>Growing in self-love helps survivors learn to trust their gut and restore a strong sense of self. Learning to trust your gut is essential as you learn to love yourself well!<\/p><p>To read our blog post on how to love yourself after emotional abuse, <a href=\"\/how-to-love-yourself-after-abuse\/\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\">click here<\/a>.<\/p><p><strong>Some additional ideas for loving yourself well:<\/strong><\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5e84e4\">Take Good Care of Yourself<\/h3><p>If you\u2019re not ready to attend that family function, saying \u201cno, thank you\u201d is okay.<\/p><p>You\u2019ve likely spent years taking care of other people\u2019s emotions. It\u2019s time to listen to yours and honor them.<\/p><p>While healing, there may be times when it\u2019s important to stretch yourself emotionally, especially when you feel like isolating.<\/p><p>Healing in isolation is difficult. We need community. And keep it light and enjoyable. You are not required to talk about your situation unless you want to.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5e9da0\">Pay Attention to How You Feel<\/h3><p>Keeping a journal where you can land all your thoughts and feelings is beneficial for healing.<\/p><p>When memories of prior abuse come to mind, write what happened and how it made you feel. You may have spent years stuffing down memories and feelings that need to come up to be healed. As hard as it can be to feel uncomfortable feelings, there is healing in feeling.<\/p><p>The same is true for children who have experienced emotional abuse; there is a tendency to suppress their emotions in the hope they will disappear. Unfortunately, this isn\u2019t effective at resolving them.<\/p><p>Listening to and acknowledging your feelings and emotions are essential self-love practices and can prevent long-term physical complications.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5ebc68\">Declare Your Worth<\/h3><p>Address negative self-talk as soon as you notice it and replace it with what is true about you!<\/p><p>The best way to counter negative self-talk is by speaking positive self-affirmations aloud. Declaring your value and worth signals the brain to shut down negative internal dialogue, calm anxiety, and restore peace.<\/p><p>When you start this practice, you may not feel or believe the positive self-talk is true. However, over time, if you stick with it, you will soon come to see and know yourself in the right light as the person you truly are.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5edd6a\">Forgive Yourself<\/h3><p>We all make mistakes and take missteps. If you feel you have made mistakes, you may be hard on yourself for them. Forgiving yourself is a powerful act of self-love.<\/p><p>For example, you may be mad at yourself for entering the relationship when you knew there were red flags, or you may be hard on yourself for waiting too long to leave.<\/p><p>We all make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time. Don\u2019t be too hard on yourself. Let yourself off the hook!<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5eff72\">Step 3: Find a Safe and Supportive Community<\/h2><p>It\u2019s crucial to surround yourself with people who have empathy and compassion and will offer you the time and space to process your story and heal.<\/p><p>It\u2019s possible that many people have violated your trust and hurt you with how they responded to your disclosure of abuse. Part of creating a strong support system is to remove harmful people from your inner support circle regardless of past relationships or how close you used to be.<\/p><p>Guard and guide your heart. Choose mindfully who you confide in; may they be people who fully believe you and support you.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5f1473\"><em>A special note about family:<\/em><\/h3><p>You might hesitate to set boundaries out of fear of losing familial relationships or because you rely on them for financial support. However, this doesn\u2019t mean you need to expose yourself vulnerably or justify every decision you make. They will likely not comprehend or may not wish to understand, and that\u2019s something beyond your control. Right now, it\u2019s not your job to educate them.<\/p><p>It is okay to place and firmly maintain boundaries with your family to safeguard your emotional well-being.<\/p><p>Many survivors find healthy support communities when they join an abuse support group or group therapy. It can be very validating and empowering to be around others with similar experiences.<\/p><p>In time, your confidence will build, and you will learn to trust your instincts about people and have healthy relationships.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrive_leads_shortcode\"><div class=\"thrive-shortcode-config\" style=\"display: none !important;\">__CONFIG_leads_shortcode__{\"id\":\"6557\"}__CONFIG_leads_shortcode__<\/div><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Step 4: Seek Professional Help<\/h2><p>Therapy with a highly skilled abuse and trauma therapist who is trauma-informed is one of the most effective ways to heal from abuse and trauma.<\/p><p>For help with this, read <a href=\"\/therapist-for-relationships\/\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\">\u201cHow to Choose a Relationship Therapist for Your Troubled Relationship.\u201d<\/a> You will learn more about finding the right therapist and knowing when to quit therapy.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Step 5: Practice a Healthy Lifestyle<\/h2><p>Our fifth tip for healing from emotional abuse is to practice a healthy lifestyle.<\/p><p>This will look different during different healing stages, so be kind and patient with yourself.<\/p><p>Here are some ideas to foster a healthy lifestyle:<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5f4866\">Movement<\/h3><p>We suggest moving your body if you are able to.<\/p><p>Go for a walk, run, or hike. Try yoga, calisthenics, or dancing.<\/p><p>Exercise reduces stress hormones, anxiety, and depression and promotes healing in measurable ways.<\/p><p>Plus, exercise classes could be a way to get out of isolation and connect with like-minded people.<\/p><p>You may not be able to do some of these activities initially, but in time, we hope you will be able to make healthy movement a part of your daily well-being practice.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5f676c\">Nourishment<\/h3><p>Healthy nutrition will help stimulate your brain and body.<\/p><p>This may look different for different people.<\/p><p>Just remember that when emotions become overwhelming, it\u2019s easy to develop unhealthy habits that can be hard to overcome. Do your best to nourish your body well.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5f78ea\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Rest<\/h3><p>Sleep is essential for healing. Make sure you are getting enough of it.<\/p><p>It\u2019s common for victims and survivors to struggle with adrenal fatigue, which can interrupt sleep.<\/p><p>It\u2019s okay if you need support from a healthcare professional for medication or supplements.<\/p><p>Start small with these 5 steps and take it as slowly as needed. We believe you can achieve the healing you deserve.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5f8f4f\" style=\"\">Know That The Abuse You Experienced Is Not Your Fault<\/h2><p>The emotional abuse you experienced is not your fault.<\/p><p>Before we tell you why it\u2019s not your fault, you may want to take a moment to recognize any shame or responsibility you are feeling for the harm you received and the pain from the abusive relationship. Recognizing this is fundamental to your recovery.<\/p><p>Let\u2019s explore a few key reasons you might feel emotional abuse is your fault:<\/p><ol class=\"\"><li>You were conditioned by your emotional abuser through constant criticism and reverse blaming, among other tactics, to believe it was your fault.<\/li><li>You may have responded or reacted in ways that don\u2019t make you proud. Traumatic reactions are automatic responses caused by the ongoing trauma of recurring relationship abuse, compelling the survivor to respond in fight, flight, freeze, or appease mode. This is known as reactive abuse but would be more appropriately named \u201creactive defense.\u201d<\/li><li>Self-blame may help you see your partner in a more positive light, which you may want to believe.<\/li><\/ol><p>You are not responsible for the faulty mindsets, destructive beliefs, or worldviews of your emotional abuser, which are the root causes of their abusive behavior.<\/p><p>We don\u2019t want you to sit in self-blame any longer!<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5fba2c\">How to Accept that Abuse Is Not Your Fault<\/h3><p>Here are some ideas to help you with self-compassion:<\/p><ul class=\"\"><li>Acknowledge what happened and see through an accurate lens.<\/li><li>Nothing about who you are or what you do can excuse their choice to abuse you.<\/li><li>Many survivors feel ashamed about the abuse because they ignored early warning signs, didn\u2019t leave sooner or seek support, or weren\u2019t able to make it stop. There is nothing you can do to stop it. Abusers have deeply rooted faulty beliefs. You did your best with the information you had at the time.<\/li><\/ul><p>Go deeper into the reasons the abuse is not your fault <a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/abuse-is-never-the-victims-fault\/\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\">here<\/a>.<\/p><p>If you accept that the abuse was not your fault, you may find other roadblocks along your journey to healing. Let\u2019s take a look at a few of them and discuss how to address them:<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5fdad6\">Overcoming Obstacles to Healing<\/h3><p>Is it possible to heal from emotional abuse?<\/p><p>Yes, absolutely!<\/p><p>Some survivors struggle to heal because they believe they lack the resources for healing.<\/p><p>Some feel it\u2019s too painful to face the trauma of past abuse they endured.<\/p><p>Other survivors stop the process prematurely because it feels too difficult to endure. Unfortunately, the trauma won\u2019t disappear on its own.<\/p><p>Another common obstacle is the fear of being alone. This fear can lead survivors to confide in unhealthy family members or form social relationships with people who don't understand emotional abuse.<\/p><p>When survivors prioritize healing, they will make hard decisions about who they open up to and how to limit their interactions with people\u2014including family members or friends who are not fully aligned with them.<\/p><p>Finally, some survivors may find their healing journey interrupted when, after being away from the abuse for a while, they begin to doubt the severity of their experience, thinking, \u201cit wasn\u2019t that bad.\u201d Be prepared for this by keeping a journal and writing down all the reasons you decided to leave the toxic relationship behind. When negative emotions flood you, write them down. Then, when you find yourself confused or challenged by the healing process, pull out the journal to remind yourself of why you are on this journey to heal from emotional abuse.<\/p><p>It\u2019s essential to have one safe person or friend who has been there all along to remind you of everything you shared when the memory was still fresh.<\/p><p>When you cultivate a healthy and strong support system and embrace effective healing practices, you can achieve self-restoration.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca5ffd6c\">Tailor Your Healing<\/h3><p>Everyone is different, including in how they heal.<\/p><p>Not all survivors of emotional abuse experience the same mental, emotional, or physical symptoms of trauma and, therefore, won\u2019t benefit from the same type of treatment.<\/p><p>Here are some of the effects of emotional abuse, which might require different healing modalities:<\/p><ul class=\"\"><li>Depression<\/li><li>Anxiety<\/li><li>Profound confusion, fragmented thinking, and memory loss<\/li><li>Physical pain, stress, or unexplained illnesses<\/li><li>Auto-immune disorders<\/li><li>Heart disease<\/li><li>Eating disorders<\/li><li>Digestive issues<\/li><li>Chronic headaches or migraines<\/li><li>Substance abuse disorders<\/li><li>Obesity<\/li><li>Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder<\/li><li>Complex-PTSD<\/li><li>Sleep disorders and nightmares<\/li><li>Insecurity and trust issues<\/li><\/ul><p>You may have experienced something that is not on the list. Acknowledge it so you can begin healing.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca602016\">Encouragement for the Road Ahead<\/h3><p>Have grace for yourself. Be patient with yourself.<\/p><p>If you have difficulty caring for yourself, try to find someone to help you. It\u2019s okay to ask for help. Your wants and needs matter.<\/p><p>You may need to build a cocoon around yourself for a time in which all you do is create a calm space to rest, pray, write, read, and heal.<\/p><p>Your brain and body need to recover and restore. And you don\u2019t need to explain yourself to anyone.<\/p><p>When it feels good, and you\u2019re ready, connect with safe friends - even just one or two. Maybe the safest friends you\u2019ll connect with are ones from a new exercise or art class.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca6043c8\">Additional Tools and Resources<\/h3><p>Below are some of our favorite tools and resources:<\/p><ul class=\"\"><li>The MEND Project training and special workshops for survivors include free monthly interactive workshops. Find out more here: <a href=\"\/mend-trainings\/\">MEND Training and Courses<\/a>.<\/li><li>The Flying Free Podcast, support groups, and coaching by Natalie Hoffman at Flying Free.<\/li><li>We recommend these authors who talk about abuse, trauma, and how to heal: Dr. Judith Herman, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Patricia Evans, Leslie Vernick, Ross Rosenberg, and Lundy Bancroft. Each of them has authored multiple excellent books.<\/li><li>\u201cCreated to Thrive,\u201d a book about creating Abuse-Free Church Cultures, Annette contributed two chapters.<\/li><li>The National Domestic Violence Hotline. Their telephone hotline (800.799.7233) and website are full of beneficial resources, including lists of domestic violence shelters and other resources available across the nation. Each domestic violence service agency provides different services and benefits. It\u2019s worth making a few calls to locate an agency that provides the services you need.<\/li><\/ul><h2 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192ca606189\">Conclusion<\/h2><p>Healing from emotional abuse is a personal journey that requires us to be kind and gentle with ourselves and have patience and self-compassion.<\/p><p>Progress may be slow and gradual, but with the right tools and support in place, healing and restoration are entirely possible.<\/p><\/div>","tve_custom_css":"@media (min-width: 300px){.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper { width: calc(50% - 15px); }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n+3) { margin-top: 14px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(n+3)) { margin-top: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(2n)) { margin-right: 30px !important; 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