{"id":8865,"date":"2022-01-14T19:41:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-15T03:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/?p=8865"},"modified":"2025-06-27T06:59:05","modified_gmt":"2025-06-27T13:59:05","slug":"por-que-las-victimas-de-abuso-mantienen-el-silencio","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/es\/why-abuse-victims-stay-silent\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00bfPor qu\u00e9 las v\u00edctimas de abuso mantienen silencio?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u00bfAlguna vez te has preguntado por qu\u00e9 las v\u00edctimas se mantienen en silencio sobre los abusos que han sufrido?&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>En este art\u00edculo, desentra\u00f1aremos la respuesta a esta pregunta.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Contaremos con:&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">La importante verdad sobre el abuso que quiz\u00e1s est\u00e9s pasando por alto&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">C\u00f3mo comienza el abuso&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">Algunos motivos importantes por los que las v\u00edctimas mantienen silencio&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a1Vamos a echar un vistazo!&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Qu\u00e9 es \u00fatil para comprender&nbsp;<\/h2>\n<p>As an outsider, it&#8217;s hard to understand when someone who used to be close with you and share their life with you suddenly stops and hides details of their relationship. They may not resemble the friend you once knew.<\/p>\n<p>Al verlos c\u00f3mo se vuelven poco a poco un esqueleto de su antiguo yo, podr\u00edas empezar a pensar: \u201cNunca me permitir\u00eda encontrarme en esa situaci\u00f3n\u201d. O podr\u00edas pensar en ti mismo que si t\u00fa <em>Estuvimos en la misma situaci\u00f3n, ustedes<\/em> Nunca permanecer\u00eda en silencio. Sin duda, acudir\u00eda a tus amigos para pedir ayuda. \u00bfNo ser\u00eda as\u00ed?<\/p>\n<p>Lo que es \u00fatil y importante saber es que los abusos no ocurren de una sola vez.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">C\u00f3mo comienza el abuso<\/h3>\n<p>Una relaci\u00f3n abusiva no comienza con un pu\u00f1etazo.<\/p>\n<p>No es tan obvio como uno podr\u00eda pensar.<\/p>\n<p>La mayor\u00eda de las relaciones abusivas comienzan con un comienzo incre\u00edblemente positivo y rom\u00e1ntico, en el que la v\u00edctima se vincula a su pareja, que la abunda de amor.<\/p>\n<p>De formas m\u00e1s sutiles, los comportamientos abusivos se producen poco a poco con el tiempo. Tras muchas tentativas fallidas de resolver el conflicto, la v\u00edctima comienza a sentir la necesidad de guardar silencio. Se siente abrumada por la duda y la confusi\u00f3n.<\/p>\n<p>Adem\u00e1s, la mayor\u00eda de las v\u00edctimas no entienden que lo que est\u00e1n experimentando es abuso.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">El abuso puede ocurrir a cualquiera<\/h3>\n<p>Abuso <strong>Esto le pasa a todas las personas.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Lo hace <em>no<\/em> Discriminar a las personas. Las v\u00edctimas pueden ser hombres o mujeres y tener or\u00edgenes diversos en cuanto a etnia, situaci\u00f3n econ\u00f3mica o nivel educativo.<\/p>\n<p>Cuando alguien se pregunta si est\u00e1 siendo abusado o se da cuenta de que su relaci\u00f3n est\u00e1 sufriendo abusos, probablemente se sintir\u00e1 avergonzado y temeroso y podr\u00eda ser obligado a permanecer en silencio. <strong>Esto hace que sea dif\u00edcil para una v\u00edctima hablar sobre los abusos que sufri\u00f3.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><\/strong>Hay varias razones convincentes por las que las v\u00edctimas mantienen el silencio mientras est\u00e1n en una relaci\u00f3n abusiva.<\/p>\n<h2>\u00bfPor qu\u00e9 las v\u00edctimas de abuso mantienen silencio?<\/h2>\n<p>Hay varias razones por las que las v\u00edctimas mantienen silencio mientras est\u00e1n en una relaci\u00f3n abusiva:<\/p>\n<p>Algunos de esos motivos incluyen:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>El estigma del abuso<\/li>\n<li>Abuso doble\u00ae<\/li>\n<li>Miedo a las represalias<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Examinemos cada uno de estos aspectos de cerca.<\/p>\n<h3>El estigma del abuso<\/h3>\n<p>El estigma del abuso es real.<\/p>\n<p>Incluso si la v\u00edctima gana un poco de confianza y decide hablar sobre el abuso, el estigma la hace replantearse.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bfPor qu\u00e9? Pues bien, en nuestra cultura sigue siendo una realidad que muchas personas ven a las v\u00edctimas con desprecio o incredulidad.<\/p>\n<p>Muchas personas no entienden el abuso ni tienen conocimiento de c\u00f3mo las personas terminan en relaciones destructivas. Su respuesta puede ser muy perjudicial para la v\u00edctima.<\/p>\n<p>Esto se puede ver en las historias que son las protagonistas de los titulares en las noticias o en las redes sociales. A menudo, cuando una v\u00edctima se hace p\u00fablica, la respuesta de sus comunidades sociales o profesionales suele ser desconfiar de ella, oponerse a ella, suprimirla, criticarla, rechazarla o apartarla.<\/p>\n<p>Por ejemplo, todos recordamos al Dr. Larry Nassar y a la Federaci\u00f3n Estadounidense de Gimnasia.<\/p>\n<p>Una y otra vez, <strong>La v\u00edctima se convierte en el acusado<\/strong> dentro de sus c\u00edrculos de contacto cercanos.<\/p>\n<p>Aunque la mayor\u00eda de las v\u00edctimas no tendr\u00e1n que compartir su historia en una plataforma p\u00fablica, el mensaje para ellas se ha hecho claro: <em>Muchas personas no quieren creer que ocurra el abuso.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Con el tiempo, las personas que viven en relaciones abusivas pierden la fuerza de su identidad personal y sufren una fuerte dificultad para afrontar la duda sobre s\u00ed mismas.<\/p>\n<p>Con mayor frecuencia, su abusador los ha desvalorizado constantemente. Los culpaban a la v\u00edctima utilizando diversas acusaciones falsas.<\/p>\n<p>Esto hace que la idea de revelar la vida secreta del abuso que han vivido sea muy dif\u00edcil para la v\u00edctima.<\/p>\n<p>Este estado vulnerable, junto con el estigma del abuso, hace casi imposible creer que ser\u00e1n bien recibidos cuando lo revelen a otra persona.<\/p>\n<p>Hasta que la v\u00edctima se vuelve tan desesperada que arriesga ser juzgada, parece m\u00e1s f\u00e1cil para ella permanecer en silencio.<\/p>\n<h3>Abuso doble\u00ae<\/h3>\n<p>Muy a menudo, cuando la v\u00edctima finalmente encuentra el coraje para pedir ayuda, se encuentra:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Minimizado<\/li>\n<li>No cre\u00eda<\/li>\n<li>Culpar<\/li>\n<li>Sancionado<\/li>\n<li>Ostracizado<\/li>\n<li>Vergonzoso<\/li>\n<li>Despreciado<\/li>\n<li>Silenciado<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Cuando una persona responde de esta manera, lo llamamos \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/es\/abuso-doble\/\">Abuso doble<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Usamos el t\u00e9rmino \u201cabuso doble\u201d porque la respuesta agrava el trauma del abuso original, a\u00f1adiendo otra capa de sufrimiento y creando un sentimiento de desesperanza e impotencia.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Esto a menudo lleva al trastorno de estr\u00e9s postraum\u00e1tico a un trastorno de estr\u00e9s postraum\u00e1tico complejo.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Las personas que responden a alguien que ha sido v\u00edctima de abuso pueden tener prejuicios inconscientes contra quienes afirman sufrir da\u00f1o.<\/p>\n<p>O bien, pueden no tener educaci\u00f3n ni informaci\u00f3n sobre formas saludables y \u00fatiles de responder a una persona que ha sido abusada.<\/p>\n<p>Sea cual sea la raz\u00f3n, <strong>Estos tipos de respuestas no son correctas.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>El proyecto MEND fue fundado por Annette Oltmans para acabar con el abuso doble.<\/p>\n<p>Observ\u00f3 que era un hilo com\u00fan en cada historia individual de todas las entrevistas que hab\u00eda realizado con cientos de v\u00edctimas.<\/p>\n<p><em>Nuestro equipo sigue viendo esta tendencia en casi todos los pa\u00edses. <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/es\/abuse-survivor-stories\/\" style=\"outline: none;\"><em>cada historia compartida<\/em><\/a><em>&nbsp;Con nosotros.<\/em><\/p>\n<h3>El miedo a la represalia<\/h3>\n<p>Hay subtiles insinuaciones que la v\u00edctima recibe del abusador a lo largo de su relaci\u00f3n, que la llevan a creer que si habla de lo que ha sufrido, habr\u00e1 consecuencias. Estos mensajes sugieren: <em>No pueden decir nada a nadie<\/em> lo que ocurra en su relaci\u00f3n, o habr\u00e1 represalias.<\/p>\n<p>Su pareja tambi\u00e9n puede decirles directamente que su relaci\u00f3n es confidencial y sagrada y que los detalles sobre ella no deben ser compartidos con nadie.<\/p>\n<p>Si la v\u00edctima comparte algo inocentemente con un amigo y su pareja se entera de ello, es probable que se ofenda o se enfade con la v\u00edctima.<\/p>\n<p>Podr\u00edan castigar a la v\u00edctima por su revelaci\u00f3n <a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/es\/silent-treatment-abuse\/\" style=\"outline: none;\">El tratamiento silencioso<\/a> o difamar a la v\u00edctima ante los dem\u00e1s para socavarla y hacerle creer que no puede compartir nada sobre la relaci\u00f3n con los dem\u00e1s.<\/p>\n<p>Invert\u00ed en la relaci\u00f3n, <strong>La v\u00edctima promete no volver a compartir<\/strong><strong>,<\/strong> esperando que la paz regrese a su relaci\u00f3n.<\/p>\n<p>Tambi\u00e9n puede ocurrir que el abusador amenace a la v\u00edctima con sabotear su reputaci\u00f3n o su carrera profesional, da\u00f1ar a sus hijos, destruir o da\u00f1ar su propiedad, o incluso con violencia f\u00edsica.<\/p>\n<p>Una v\u00edctima que vive en un entorno abusivo sabe por experiencia que el agresor es capaz de cumplir sus amenazas si la v\u00edctima lo revela a alguien ajeno a la relaci\u00f3n.<\/p>\n<p>El miedo que experimentan es eficaz para lograr el objetivo del abusador.<\/p>\n<p><em>El miedo<\/em> Silencia a la v\u00edctima.<\/p>\n<p>Incluso sin amenazas expl\u00edcitas de violencia, la v\u00edctima sabe instintivamente que ser\u00e1 castigada si habla con alguien m\u00e1s.<\/p>\n<p>Como resultado de la din\u00e1mica destructiva en su relaci\u00f3n, viven en un estado constante de miedo y estr\u00e9s.<\/p>\n<p>Al final, el miedo de que decirle a otra persona podr\u00eda agravar el abuso silencia a la v\u00edctima.<\/p>\n<h2>Conclusi\u00f3n<\/h2>\n<p>Esperamos que se sientan informados y preparados cuando una v\u00edctima encuentre el valor para romper el silencio y acuda a usted para pedir ayuda.<\/p>\n<p>Adquirir una comprensi\u00f3n m\u00e1s profunda y conocer mejor la din\u00e1mica compleja y complicada de los abusos en una relaci\u00f3n es clave para entender por qu\u00e9 las v\u00edctimas siguen en silencio.<\/p>\n<p>Es esencial que cree un espacio donde ellos puedan experimentar su compasi\u00f3n y sentirse seguros para hablar de todo lo que han pasado.<\/p>\n<p>Puedes ser la luz que ellos necesitan y que merecen. Puedes llevar a una v\u00edctima a la seguridad y la sanaci\u00f3n a trav\u00e9s de una escucha compasiva, empat\u00eda, validaci\u00f3n y la paciencia necesaria para permitir que las v\u00edctimas hagan elecciones que mejor se adapten a sus necesidades en el momento. <em>ellos<\/em> Elige.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever wondered why victims stay quiet about the abuse they\u2019ve experienced?&nbsp; In this article, we will unpack the answer to this question.&nbsp; We will cover:&nbsp; The important truth about abuse you might be overlooking&nbsp; How abuse starts&nbsp; A few significant reasons victims remain silent&nbsp; Let\u2019s have a look!&nbsp; What\u2019s Helpful to Understand&nbsp; As [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":8868,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>Have you ever wondered why victims stay quiet about the abuse they\u2019ve experienced?&nbsp;<\/p><p>In this article, we will unpack the answer to this question.&nbsp;<\/p><p>We will cover:&nbsp;<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcec\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcef\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dceb\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dced\" style=\"\">The important truth about abuse you might be overlooking&nbsp;<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcf0\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dceb\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dced\" style=\"\">How abuse starts&nbsp;<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcee\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dceb\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dced\" style=\"\">A few significant reasons victims remain silent&nbsp;<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><p>Let\u2019s have a look!&nbsp;<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">What\u2019s Helpful to Understand&nbsp;<\/h2><p>As an outsider, it's hard to understand when someone who used to be close with you and share their life with you suddenly stops and hides details of their relationship. They may not resemble the friend you once knew.<\/p><p>As you watch them slowly become a shell of their former self, you might begin to think, \u201cI would never allow myself to be in that situation.\u201d Or you might think to yourself that if you <em>were in the same situation, you<\/em> would never keep silent. You would certainly reach out to your friends for help. Wouldn\u2019t you?<\/p><p>What\u2019s helpful and important to know is that abuse doesn\u2019t happen all at once.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cac1b388\">How Abuse Starts<\/h3><p>An abusive relationship doesn\u2019t start with a punch.<\/p><p>It isn\u2019t as obvious as one might think.<\/p><p>Most abusive relationships begin with an incredibly positive and romantic beginning where the victim attaches themself to their partner who lavishes them with love.<\/p><p>In the subtlest of ways, abusive behaviors take place, little by little over time. After many failed attempts at conflict resolution, the victim starts to feel compelled to remain silent. They find themselves overcome with self-doubt and confusion.<\/p><p>Also, most victims do not understand what they are experiencing is abuse.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cac1cfde\">Abuse Can Happen to Anyone<\/h3><p>Abuse <strong>happens to all types of people.<\/strong><\/p><p>It does <em>not<\/em> discriminate against persons. Victims can be male or female and come from varying backgrounds regarding ethnicity, economic status, or educational degree.<\/p><p>When someone wonders if they are being abused or realizes they are dealing with abuse in their relationship, they will likely feel shame and fear, and they may be coerced into remaining silent. <strong>This makes it a struggle for a victim to speak about the abuse they experienced.<\/strong><\/p><p><strong><\/strong>There are several compelling reasons victims keep silent while they are in an abusive relationship.<\/p><h2 class=\"\">Why Abuse Victims Stay Silent<\/h2><p>There are several reasons victims keep silent while they are in an abusive relationship:<\/p><p>A few of those reasons include:<\/p><ol class=\"\"><li>The Stigma of Abuse<\/li><li>Double Abuse\u00ae<\/li><li>Fear of Retaliation<\/li><\/ol><p>Let\u2019s take a closer look at each of these.<\/p><h3 data-css=\"tve-u-192cac207ea\" class=\"\">The Stigma of Abuse<\/h3><p>The stigma of abuse is real.<\/p><p>Even if the victim gains a little confidence and considers speaking out about the abuse, the stigma causes them to reconsider.<\/p><p>Why? Well, in our culture, it remains a reality that many people view victims with disdain or disbelief.<\/p><p>Many people do not understand abuse nor are they knowledgeable about how people end up in destructive relationships. Their response can be quite harmful to the victim.<\/p><p>We can see this in the stories that make headlines in news or on social media. Too often, when a victim comes forward the response from their social or professional communities is often to disbelieve, oppose, suppress, criticize, shun, or ostracize..<\/p><p>For example, we all remember Dr. Larry Nassar and the USA Gymnastics.<\/p><p>Time and time again, <strong>the victim becomes the accused<\/strong> within their surrounding circles.<\/p><p>Although most victims will not have to share their story on a public platform, the message to victims has become clear: <em>many people do not want to believe that abuse happens.<\/em><\/p><p>Over time, people within abusive relationships lose the strength of their self-identity and struggle significantly with self-doubt.<\/p><p>Most often, their abuser has been consistently demeaning them. They blame the victim using various false accusations.<\/p><p>This makes the idea of exposing the secret life of abuse they have been living very difficult for the victim.<\/p><p>This vulnerable state, coupled with the stigma of abuse, makes it nearly impossible to believe they will be well-received when they disclose to another.<\/p><p>Until the victim becomes so desperate that they will risk judgment, it seems easier for them to remain silent.<\/p><h3 data-css=\"tve-u-192cac22aab\" class=\"\">Double Abuse\u00ae<\/h3><p>Far too often, when the victim finally finds the courage to reach out for help, they are:<\/p><ul class=\"\"><li>Minimized<\/li><li>Disbelieved<\/li><li>Blamed<\/li><li>Judged<\/li><li>Ostracized<\/li><li>Shamed<\/li><li>Shunned<\/li><li>Silenced<\/li><\/ul><p>When a person responds this way, we call this \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/double-abuse\/\">Double Abuse<\/a>.\u201d<\/p><p>We use the words Double Abuse because the response exacerbates the trauma from the Original Abuse, adding another layer of harm and creating a sense of hopelessness and despair.<\/p><p><strong>This often escalates PTSD into Complex PTSD.<\/strong><\/p><p>Those responding to someone who has been harmed by abuse might have unconscious biases against those who claim to be experiencing harm.<\/p><p>Or they might be uneducated and ill-informed about healthy and helpful ways to respond to a person who has been abused.<\/p><p>Whatever the reason, <strong>these types of responses are not ok.<\/strong><\/p><p>The MEND Project was founded by Annette Oltmans to end Double Abuse\u00ae.<\/p><p>She noticed it was the common thread within each individual story in every interview she had with hundreds of victims.<\/p><p><em>Our team continues to see this thread in nearly <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/abuse-survivor-stories\/\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\"><em>every story shared<\/em><\/a><em>&nbsp;with us.<\/em><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrive_leads_shortcode\"><div class=\"thrive-shortcode-config\" style=\"display: none !important;\">__CONFIG_leads_shortcode__{\"id\":\"7330\"}__CONFIG_leads_shortcode__<\/div><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h3 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cac2415e\">The Fear of Retaliation<\/h3><p>There are subtle undertones the victim receives from the abuser throughout their relationship that lead them to believe if they speak of what they have experienced, there will be consequences. These messages suggest <em>they cannot tell anyone<\/em> what happens in their relationship, or there will be retaliation.<\/p><p>Their partner may also tell them directly that their relationship is confidential and sacred and that details about it are not to be shared with anyone.<\/p><p>If the victim innocently shares something with a friend and their partner learns about it, they are likely to become offended or angry at the victim.<\/p><p>They might punish the victim for their disclosure through <a href=\"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/silent-treatment-abuse\/\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\">the silent treatment<\/a> or slandering the victim to outsiders to undermine them and instill in them that they cannot share anything about the relationship with others.<\/p><p>Invested in the relationship, <strong>the victim vows not to share again<\/strong><strong>,<\/strong> hoping peace will return to their relationship.<\/p><p>There may also be times when the abuser threatens the victim with sabotaging their reputation or career, harming their children, destruction or property, or even physical violence.<\/p><p>A victim living within the abusive dynamic knows from their experience that the perpetrator is capable of following through on their threats should the victim disclose to anyone outside of the relationship.<\/p><p>The fear they experience is effective in accomplishing the abuser\u2019s goal.<\/p><p><em>Fear<\/em> silences the victim.<\/p><p>Even without overt threats of violence, the victim instinctively knows and believes they will be punished if they speak to anyone else.<\/p><p>As a result of the destructive dynamics in their relationship, they live in an ongoing state of fear and stress.<\/p><p>Ultimately, the fear that telling someone else might escalate the abuse silences the victim.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cac27394\">Conclusion<\/h2><p>We hope you feel enlightened and equipped when a victim finds the courage to break their silence and comes to you for help.<\/p><p>Gaining deeper insight and knowledge of the complex and complicated abuse dynamics in a relationship is key to understanding why victims remain silent.<\/p><p>It\u2019s essential that you create a space where they can experience your compassion and feel safe speaking about all they have gone through.<\/p><p>You can be the light they need and deserve. You can lead a victim to safety and healing through a compassionate listening ear, empathy, validation, and the patience it takes to allow victims to make choices that best fit their needs in the time <em>they<\/em> choose.<\/p><\/div>","tve_custom_css":"@media (min-width: 300px){.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper { width: calc(50% - 15px); }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n+3) { margin-top: 14px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(n+3)) { margin-top: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(2n)) { margin-right: 30px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(2n) { margin-right: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper { width: calc(50% - 7.5px); }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n+3) { margin-top: 15px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(n+3)) { margin-top: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(2n)) { margin-right: 15px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(2n) { margin-right: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dceb\"] { --tcb-local-color-icon: rgb(116,93,39); --tcb-local-color-var: rgb(116,93,39); --tve-icon-size: 20px; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcec\"] { margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dceb\"] > :first-child { color: rgb(116, 93, 39); --tve-applied-color: rgb(116,93,39); }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dced\"] { line-height: 1.8em !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcee\"] { padding-bottom: 5px !important; padding-top: 5px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcef\"] { padding-bottom: 5px !important; padding-top: 5px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcf0\"] { padding-bottom: 5px !important; padding-top: 5px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac1b388\"] { color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; --tve-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; font-size: 25px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac1cfde\"] { font-size: 25px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac207ea\"] { color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; --tve-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; font-size: 25px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac22aab\"] { font-size: 25px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac2415e\"] { color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; --tve-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; font-size: 25px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac27394\"] { color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; --tve-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; }}","tve_user_custom_css":"","tve_globals":{"e":"1","font_cls":[]},"tcb2_ready":1,"tcb_editor_enabled":1,"tve_landing_page":"","_tve_header":"","_tve_footer":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-category-blog","post-wrapper","thrv_wrapper"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Why Victims of Abuse Stay Quiet - The Mend Project<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why do victims of abuse stay quiet? 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