Parenting Inspiration to Keep You Emotionally Healthy

No parent in this millennia is an expert on playing out their role during a pandemic. There is no “right way” to these strange new normals brought on by COVID-19, but as a parent, you may be wishing there was a guideline for getting through this season of social distancing and sheltering-in-place without losing your mind.

If you’re feeling exhausted, frustrated, numb, or a combination of all three, you’re not alone. On occasion, we all need inspiration and healthy reminders to get through difficult times. No one is expecting you to be perfect, so don’t put that on yourself. Remember to laugh a little – even at yourself – and invite others to join you in the laughter. We could all use a bit more joy.

Today, we’re sharing a few tips that can help to improve your relationship with your child(ren), especially now when you are truly parenting 24/7 like never before.

1. Show Affection

Give hugs, pat backs, rub heads and shoulders, cuddle before bedtime, and hold them when they’re feeling overwhelmed. Kids and adolescents alike need physical touch from their parents to thrive, even though they don’t always realize it. Showing affection regularly to your kids will make both of you feel more bonded.

2. De-Escalate when Necessary

As you know, parents aren’t the only ones feeling ragged and stir-crazy during this time; kids are feeling the effects of having their routines interrupted, and without de-escalation, they may act out. Some effective action steps to de-escalate situations before they get out of hand include:

Addressing the situation with new language that seeks to understand what is fueling their behavior, rather than accusing;
Re-evaluating the rules, considering that more flexibility may be warranted to get through this time and other seasons of crisis;
Choosing thoughtfully what requests and guidelines are non-negotiable; and
Setting limits for your children to empower them with healthy parameters.

3. Check-in with Yourself

On any typical day, parenting is demanding. But add elements like homeschooling or working from home into the mix, and it can feel ten times more stressful than normal. As parents, it’s imperative that we monitor emotions from time to time to make sure we stay emotionally healthy for ourselves and our kids. When you can feel your blood begin to boil, take a break. If you can, go for a walk to allow your emotions to get in balance. Then, take these steps to help you determine what you’re feeling, and how to express it:

Ask yourself what may have led you to feel angry;
Take several deep breaths to help you think more clearly;
Decide if you feel enough self-control to speak about your anger in a healthy way;
When sharing your feelings with your child, be direct and specific; and
Listen to your child’s response, try to put yourself in their shoes, and seek to understand their perspective.

4. Be an Active Listener

A lot of the time, when kids are bouncing off the walls or driving us mad, they are intentionally trying to get our attention because they crave quality time. To help your child feel seen, practice active listening with them. Ask thoughtful questions when they tell you stories. Affirm their feelings when they share them. Avoid shutting down their expressions or taking over the conversation. When you can tell that your child wants some attention but you are too occupied to give it to them, consider saying something such as, “I have a task that I need to finish right now so that we can have quality time later.” Then, make sure you follow through and spend time with them later.

5. Be Available

Most of all, what our kids want is to know that we are there for them. Simple distractions like looking at our phones when they are telling us something can make them feel alone, or as if they are not wanted in that moment, (which may be true in brief moments, but overall, we love our children and want them to feel it). Let them know that they can talk to you about anything and that nothing is more important to you than they are.

Although we may be physically separated right now, we are not alone. Parents have one of the most essential jobs out there. It isn’t an easy calling at any time, during or outside of a pandemic. Remember that the work you are doing is incredibly valuable and has a big impact on your little humans, even if they do not know it.

To help you get through the coming weeks, we have gathered some insightful resources that cover a range of parenting topics, including our most recent blog covering Parent-Child Interaction Therapy and several others.