Annette’s gentle, firm and educated approach made the material come alive for me. I am seeing the invaluable and timely impact of this course as I am currently walking alongside several women in abusive relationships. I already find myself a much quieter and more active listener when someone is telling me their story. I am much more aware of the undercurrents in that story. I find that I am not so quick with recommendations, advice, etc. for concern that I may cause double abuse. I see that I have done some of that before and certainly have had it done to me! I am fascinated by how the material made its way into my everyday thinking, changing the way I see things.

M. Yardley

The M3ND Project curriculum on how to respond to victims of abuse was a real eye-opener for me. Even though I have been involved with Human Options, a non-profit based in Orange County which serves victims of domestic violence for over twenty years (currently the President of the Board), I found that the curriculum simplified complicated topics and gave me new and accurate language which makes this topic easier to discuss openly (versus keeping domestic violence in the shadows). I thought the focus on training first responders is much needed and feel EVERY pastor and police officer should have the opportunity to take this course.

Celina Doka, Partner at KPMG LLP; President, Board of Directors, Human Options

Exceeded my expectations. New learnings, compassion, and understanding of faith-based institutions’ responsibilities and steps for improvement. Each session was very practical and opened my eyes to going past easy fixes to the deep, restorative work needed for the victim to find health again. . . I benefited personally and I am now a MEND Project “FAN!

Rob DeKlotz, Principal Contractor, Kingdom Initiatives; Organizational Leadership Coach

I love the course website. It’s so intuitive, easy to use, and helpful that it automatically tracks where you are in the course. The definitions of abuse allow clients to feel known and understood and I have already begun to use them in sessions as I have met with my clients that have been through abuse.

Chelsea Neal, M.A., MFT, Nonprofit Organization Leader and Client Advocate, Avail NYC

The material met my expectations and more!. . . The additional naming of the dynamics gave me an expansion of the identity of the different coercive control behaviors. Through this course, I enhanced my lived experience from working in the field for 40 years…

Bernita Walker, Domestic Violence Specialist

As a clinician, these materials really enlightened me to a different way of seeing relationships. The thorough definitions and terminology of abuse increased my level of understanding and left me feeling more empathic and compassionate towards clients. The concept of Double Abuse is so important as to not further harm those that have been abused and will help keep me accountable.

Andrea Lundeen, Clinician, Substance Use & Co-occurring Disorders

The M3ND Project has created a pathway for church leaders, therapists, and anyone responding to abuse to navigate the challenging journey with couples and individuals who are victims of abuse or are themselves perpetrating abuse. I have met with hundreds of men in my 30 years as a men’s pastor. This curriculum is a must! The magnitude of impact it will have as it equips church leaders and beyond to identify abuse, understand its harmful effects, and respond in a manner that communicates the heart of God for each person right where they are on their path is unparalleled. Every church needs this resource for its staff members, lay counselors, and bible study leaders.

Kenny Luck, Founder Every Man Ministries; Pastor, Crossline Church

[F]or over 40 years…I have seen the devastating effects of domestic violence and how challenging it is to unravel the destruction covert emotional abuse causes…This curriculum training has opened my eyes, enabling me to more quickly recognize it when it’s in front of me and implement the proper responses that are helpful in order to create a safe place for all of our people. The education and . . . effective tools M3ND provides through this curriculum are high quality, deep, and well-tailored to meet the critical needs and experiences of pastors and other leaders.

Eric Heard, Stewardship and Pastoral Ministry, Mariner’s Church

Annette Oltmans offers innumerable gifts in her outstanding new curriculum for first responders. Among these first is the vital clarity in naming the behaviors involved in Covert Emotional Abuse (CEA), so that victims of CEA and those who help them can identify and understand the utterly bewildering and damaging experience victims endure. As well, the profound nature of CEA and its link to trauma is deeply explored, so the consequences of CEA and trauma, such as [] PTSD, can be successfully ameliorated. Significantly, Annette provides the rich awareness of what she has named Double Abuse, the traumatization and Complex PTSD that victims suffer when their reach for help results in shame, blame, and rigid requirements, instead of the crucial aid they seek. M3ND’s Curriculum not only promises the necessary training for first responders but delivers on that training and by doing so provides protection to victims from further damage and transformative care.


Gwyn Erwin, Ph.D., Psy.D.

My strong endorsement for The M3ND Project curriculum comes after many years of experience in counseling, teaching, and mentoring couples and individuals as a minister, author, teacher, and counselor...In this curriculum, The M3ND Project does an excellent job clarifying the complicated elements of domestic violence in a manner that will encourage and equip clergy, counselors and congregants to care for the abused in life-affirming ways…

Dr. Kathy Ann Camarillo, PhD, D.Min