If this is your reality, you may feel confused, afraid, angry, ashamed, or trapped. You may blame yourself or feel responsible for what has happened in your relationship. You may even feel responsible to fix it. These feelings are normal responses to abuse. There is nothing wrong with you. We know you are doing the best you can.
Before we tell you why it’s not your fault, stop to take a moment to recognize any shame or responsibility you are feeling for the conflict and pain coming from the abusive relationship. Recognizing this is the first step in your recovery. Chances are you’ve been stuffing the feeling down or ignoring it and might be numb to its presence. This will hinder your ability to heal, so it’s important to reject the lie that the emotional abuse was your fault.
Let’s take a look at some of the reasons why the abuse is not your fault.