Supporting Abuse Survivors One Victory at a Time
Are you confused and stressed in your relationship? Do you wonder if what you are experiencing is abuse?
Do you know someone who feels stuck in an abusive relationship, and you want to support them but don’t know how?
Supporting Abuse Survivors One Victory at a Time
Are you confused and stressed in your relationship? Do you wonder if what you are experiencing is abuse?
Do you know someone who feels stuck in an abusive relationship, and you want to support them but don’t know how?
The MEND Project is Here to Help!
Who We Help…
Am I in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?
Do You Want to Help Someone in an Abusive Relationship?
Are You an Organization Committed to Helping Abuse Victims?
What Others Are Saying About MEND…
Your words gave me a voice. Every word that you wrote spoke the truth that I have been unable to speak.
Jessica
Survivor
Relevant, organized, and up-to-date. MEND teaches you what you need to know to bring hope and healing in someone’s life.
Dr. Ramona
Probasco PsyD, MFT, NCC
The MEND Project’s training is invaluable to any organization attempting to pursue justice and mercy by addressing systemic structures of abuse.
Care and Recovery Pastor
Mariners Church
Our Most Popular Resources
FREE Training and Information You Need to Gain Clarity in Confusing and Stressful Relationships
These live workshops, archived classes, and downloadable resources give you all the information you and others need to begin the healing process.
In-Depth Training & Curriculum for Deeper Healing
Discover helpful resources and training designed to empower your journey and recovery through abuse and difficult relationships. Find clarity and support today.
Upcoming Events
We offer a variety of workshops and training dedicated to helping address and end relationship abuse. Please check back frequently to view updated information, or you can get notified of our free online events here.
Playing the Victim: How Abusers Flip the Script
Join us on August 14 for a workshop that pulls back the curtain on one of the most disorienting forms of psychological abuse: the moment an abuser claims they’re the real victim. When someone flips the script—denying responsibility, shifting blame, and leveraging your empathy—it can leave you questioning your own memories and instincts. In this session, you’ll learn to spot “victim manipulation,” understand why abusers wield it so effectively, and discover practical ways to protect your truth, set firm boundaries, and reclaim your sense of self. Abuse is never your fault, and recognizing these tactics is the first step toward freedom and healing.
August 14, 2025, at 10:00 A.M. PST | SIGN UP NOW
Blog Posts & Survivor Stories
Knowledge brings clarity, and clarity helps you overcome prolonged states of stress and confusion.
Below are some of our most impactful articles. You can also click the buttons to search our blog posts or abuse recovery stories.
Healing from Emotional Abuse Guide
Questions to Ask Relationship Therapists
Can Abusers Change? 5 Almost Impossible Obstacles Explained
How to Get Out of an Abusive Relationship Safety Guide
Search Our Articles on Emotional Abuse and More
Domestic Violence and Abuse Victim Stories of Healing
Finding Clarity and Healing in Difficult, Confusing, or Abusive Relationships
Introducing Our Online Training Course
This comprehensive, self-paced course is designed to help you understand and heal from difficult, confusing, or abusive relationships.
Led by MEND Founder Annette Oltmans, this course equips you with the tools to help you identify, address, and overcome harmful relational dynamics.
The hope and goal of this course is to help you understand the underlying issues that cause destructive relationship patterns and lead you on a path of healing, whether you decide to stay or leave.
GET STARTED TODAY and take a decisive step toward healing and self-restoration.
*Scholarship opportunities are available. Click the button above and scroll to the bottom to learn how.
About Our Founder
About Our Founder
Annette Oltmans founded The MEND Project in 2016. An abuse survivor herself, she found that while the path to healing is often arduous, it is possible. She founded The MEND Project to provide resources that guide individuals facing abuse and troubled relationships, as well as their allies who want to help.
Help & Information
If you are in immediate danger contact the national hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) or call 911.
Disclaimer: The author of this website, The MEND Project and its founder, Annette Oltmans, takes responsibility for the presentation of the content of this website. We are not clinicians, but are researchers and desire to help you. We are not trying to vilify any gender, or any person, regardless of race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, nationality etc. Our mission is to identify and clarify the single behaviors or patterns of behaviors that occur when covert abuse is present. The material on this website and the services our nonprofit offers are offered in an effort to serve all victims of abuse. © 2025 The MEND Project. All Rights Reserved.