You may be asking yourself, “Does my partner treat me unkindly?” But what does that really look like? Is this normal conflict? Does everyone else feel this way? Maybe it’s just an occasional slight or maybe it happens everyday. Maybe it happens multiple times a day. Maybe there are themes to the unkindness. And yet your partner insists it’s either all in your mind or all your fault. Is it?
You live in a world that carries the message, “this is the norm”. You may feel that everything is going along just as it should. But then, without any warning, your partner takes a swipe at you. A physical swipe. A verbal swipe. Or they shut you out, stonewalling you. You are trying to make sense of what just happened. But, you’re not sure.
Maybe they make jokes fairly often, that seem to be at your expense. But, you’re not sure. Or, they minimize your feelings or the experiences that are meaningful to you. But, you’re not sure. Or, your partner always seems to minimize things you are excited about. But, you’re not sure. It feels like your partner often treats you unkindly. But, you’re not sure.
Do you feel like you are living in a world of constant confusion and stress? Perhaps you feel like you are the crazy one. But you aren’t. You are not the crazy one. In fact, it is quite the opposite. People like you, who have had to navigate through a crazy-making environment within a maze of confusion are actually incredibly resourceful and intelligent. You have likely extended compassion and understanding, well beyond reason, toward the very person causing you this harm. YOU are NOT crazy.