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Published Articles

The Common Thread Found In Primary and Secondary Abuse and Its Consequences
May 25, 2018

All forms of abuse involve bullying. Bullying is the common thread found in both Primary and Secondary Abuse and their consequences, which include endemic and culturally biased responses. Bullying, as a stereotype, is usually seen as schoolyard misbehavior – such as physical confrontation taking place mostly between boys, from toddlers to teens, or cruel taunting and relational bullying between girls. It can also be seen as a drunken husband unleashing physical abuse upon his wife. To conceptualize bullying in a cliché way, or to separate it into discrete categories to make it ‘manageable,’ is to make the mistake of obscuring its true nature and its profound layers of impact and repercussions.   READ MORE

The Layered Effect of Covert Emotional Abuse and Double Abuse®
December 28, 2017

Sexual harassment, domestic violence, school bullying and child molestation share two notably powerful ingredients: the layered effect of Covert Emotional Abuse and Double Abuse®.

Covert Emotional Abuse has many layers. It is confusing and easy to deny. Those who employ it, unconsciously or knowingly take steps to avoid being caught. Rewriting history is one way they step out of the story. Practicing oneupsmanship, causing others to feel inferior and reversing blame, shifting guilt onto the innocent, allows them to feel little or no guilt themselves.   READ MORE

In The News

2 Orange County women reaching church leaders and others on how to help when abusive treatment
December 26, 2017

Annette Oltmans wanted the people in her faith community to listen and take seriously the emotional abuse that had come to define her marriage.

But when she turned to the leaders of a couples’ Bible study group she and her husband attended, Oltmans felt dismissed.

Worse, it seemed like she was being blamed for her husband’s behavior.   READ MORE

On The Blog

One Year Later: What’s Next for #MeToo?

Today marks the one year anniversary of the tweet titled #MeToo asking if others had experienced sexual assault in their life. The response was overwhelming and sobering. One year later, #MeToo has been posted more than 19 million times. Now as we reflect on the massive cultural shift we’ve seen in 2018, we ask ourselves, “What’s next?” READ MORE

Could You Be In An Abusive Relationship and Not Know It?

When most women think about “intimate partner abuse” typically bruises or broken bones come to mind, but abuse is not always that black and white. In fact, the gray area of abuse can go undetected for months, sometimes even years or decades. It’s called “covert emotional abuse.” 

How to Respond When Your Friend Tells You She is in an
Abusive Relationship

Domestic abuse is an epidemic in the United States with nearly 1 in 3 women experiencing Primary Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional or financial abuse) at some point in their lifetime. What can exacerbate Primary Abuse, leave a person feeling hopeless and isolated. . . READ MORE


Bible News Radio – Interview with Annette Oltmans

Latest Press Release

Nonprofit, Seeks to End “Double Abuse®

Often far more harmful than actual physical or emotional abuse, “Double Abuse®” can be prevented by listening, empathizing, and never blaming

Orange, Calif. (July 5, 2017)The MEND Project, a nonprofit organization who focuses on ending “Double Abuse™,” announced today the launch of its website and curriculum. It is designed to educate, equip and restore all those impacted by Primary and Double Abuse. This secondary layer of abuse, which The MEND Project has coined “Double Abuse,” occurs when a person who is experiencing “Primary Abuse” physically, emotionally or sexually, reaches out for help. Instead of being received with compassion, empathy and acceptance, victims are often judged, not believed and ostracized by family, church or professional communities. Double Abuse™ can also be used to describe incorrect therapeutic treatment and spiritual abuse.

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