FREE Training and
Information You Need to
Resolve High-Conflict Relationship Problems!

Live workshops, archived classes, and downloadable resources give you all the information you (or others) need to begin the healing process.

If you have been in, are currently in, or know someone in a high-conflict or potentially abusive relationship, the folks and resources at MEND are here for you!

You are NOT alone. Browse through our workshops and resources below and feel free to contact us with any questions.

And for responders, therapists, and allies, our trainings provide skills to enhance your effectiveness in helping people through abuse and the healing process.

Break Free from the Maze: Find Clarity and Healing in Confusing Relationships. To learn more about this course from MEND, click here.

The missing puzzle piece. M3ND is providing the education, guidance, and resources to empower individuals to properly respond.

Jennifer Ponce

Director, California Partnership to End Domestic Violence

“Now that I understand, I have a new outlook of my own behavior & a better ability to set healthier boundaries. Thank you for putting this educational information available for those who truly needed it & benefit from it.”

MEND Student


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upcoming programs


Join MEND founder Annette Oltmans as she delves into the topic of blame-shifting, a manipulation technique that is often utilized by abusers to avoid blame and shift it onto the victim. Explore how the methods used to blame-shift are reminiscent of other abusive behaviors like gaslighting and scapegoating. Understand how blame-shifting can affect relationships, the victim’s well-being and view of themself and the abuser, and why blame-shifting is utilized by abusers.

In this workshop, you will learn:

  • What blame-shifting is, how to define it, and what it can look like.
  • How blame-shifting impacts the victim and their well-being, as well as some common signs that someone may be experiencing blame-shifting.
  • Why blame-shifting is employed and what the abuser hopes to accomplish by shifting the blame off of them and onto a victim.
  • What the opposite of blame-shifting is, why showing curiosity and concern for others’ feelings is so much more conducive to positive relationships than blame-shifting.
  • Terms that can be used to describe blame-shifting and provide clarity.

Don’t miss this FREE workshop to learn more about how to uncover and unmask blame-shifting as the manipulation it is.



10:00 AM PST

mend programs

  • Provide live lessons that establish connections and support
  • Dig deep. Our unique approach uncovers the various covert behaviors that are abusive – with videos and PDF’s describing them
  • Present material for people with a variety of learning styles (reading, listening, speaking)
  • Teach skills with a personable, knowledgeable, and deeply caring team
  • Provide FREE downloadable tools and resources that participants can use for their own clarity and healing and share with friends, families and other allies.


I listened to Annette speak about covert abuse…and hung on every word that she spoke. To have someone put into words exactly what I am experiences is worth everything. I may listen to it over and over to remind myself (when things are kicked under the rug repeatedly) what I am really enduring. I am coming out of the fog. It has taken much time. . . . Thank you, Annette for helping other women! God bless you.”

Stephanie, Survivor

Strews Inc.

Relevant, organized, and up-to-date. MEND teaches you what you need to know to bring hope and healing in someone’s life.

Dr. Ramona Probasco PsyD, MFT, NCC

The MEND Project’s training is invaluable to any organization attempting to pursue justice and mercy by addressing systemic structures of abuse.

Jack West

Care and Recovery Pastor, Mariners Church


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