Training & Curriculum

Annette’s gentle, firm and educated approach made the material come alive for me. I am seeing the invaluable and timely impact of this course as I am currently walking alongside several women in abusive relationships. I already find myself a much quieter and more active listener when someone is telling me their story. I am much more aware of the undercurrents in that story. I find that I am not so quick with recommendations, advice, etc. for concern that I may cause double abuse. I see that I have done some of that before and certainly have had it done to me! I am fascinated by how the material made its way into my everyday thinking, changing the way I see things.

The M3ND Project curriculum on how to respond to victims of abuse was a real eye-opener for me. Even though I have been involved with Human Options, a non-profit based in Orange County which serves victims of domestic violence for over twenty years (currently the President of the Board), I found that the curriculum simplified complicated topics and gave me new and accurate language which makes this topic easier to discuss openly (versus keeping domestic violence in the shadows). I thought the focus on training first responders is much needed and feel EVERY pastor and police officer should have the opportunity to take this course.

Exceeded my expectations. New learnings, compassion, and understanding of faith-based institutions’ responsibilities and steps for improvement. Each session was very practical and opened my eyes to going past easy fixes to the deep, restorative work needed for the victim to find health again. . . I benefited personally and I am now a MEND Project “FAN!

I love the course website. It’s so intuitive, easy to use, and helpful that it automatically tracks where you are in the course. The definitions of abuse allow clients to feel known and understood and I have already begun to use them in sessions as I have met with my clients that have been through abuse.

The material met my expectations and more!. . . The additional naming of the dynamics gave me an expansion of the identity of the different coercive control behaviors. Through this course, I enhanced my lived experience from working in the field for 40 years…

As a clinician, these materials really enlightened me to a different way of seeing relationships. The thorough definitions and terminology of abuse increased my level of understanding and left me feeling more empathic and compassionate towards clients. The concept of Double Abuse is so important as to not further harm those that have been abused and will help keep me accountable.

The M3ND Project has created a pathway for church leaders, therapists, and anyone responding to abuse to navigate the challenging journey with couples and individuals who are victims of abuse or are themselves perpetrating abuse. I have met with hundreds of men in my 30 years as a men’s pastor. This curriculum is a must! The magnitude of impact it will have as it equips church leaders and beyond to identify abuse, understand its harmful effects, and respond in a manner that communicates the heart of God for each person right where they are on their path is unparalleled. Every church needs this resource for its staff members, lay counselors, and bible study leaders.

[F]or over 40 years…I have seen the devastating effects of domestic violence and how challenging it is to unravel the destruction covert emotional abuse causes…This curriculum training has opened my eyes, enabling me to more quickly recognize it when it’s in front of me and implement the proper responses that are helpful in order to create a safe place for all of our people. The education and . . . effective tools M3ND provides through this curriculum are high quality, deep, and well-tailored to meet the critical needs and experiences of pastors and other leaders.

Annette Oltmans offers innumerable gifts in her outstanding new curriculum for first responders. Among these first is the vital clarity in naming the behaviors involved in Covert Emotional Abuse (CEA), so that victims of CEA and those who help them can identify and understand the utterly bewildering and damaging experience victims endure. As well, the profound nature of CEA and its link to trauma is deeply explored, so the consequences of CEA and trauma, such as [] PTSD, can be successfully ameliorated. Significantly, Annette provides the rich awareness of what she has named Double Abuse, the traumatization and Complex PTSD that victims suffer when their reach for help results in shame, blame, and rigid requirements, instead of the crucial aid they seek. M3ND’s Curriculum not only promises the necessary training for first responders but delivers on that training and by doing so provides protection to victims from further damage and transformative care.

My strong endorsement for The M3ND Project curriculum comes after many years of experience in counseling, teaching, and mentoring couples and individuals as a minister, author, teacher, and counselor...In this curriculum, The M3ND Project does an excellent job clarifying the complicated elements of domestic violence in a manner that will encourage and equip clergy, counselors and congregants to care for the abused in life-affirming ways…

As a DV expert, I have attended numerous trainings on the subject matter of Intimate Partner Violence. M3ND does an exemplary job of presenting relevant and up-to-date information that is supported by research as well as personal testimonies. Statistics demonstrate that if you are not personally affected by abuse from an intimate partner, you will know someone who is or has been. “Not knowing” what to do or how to respond need not be an obstacle to making a true difference in a. . . victim’s life. M3ND can teach you what you need to know and properly prepare you with materials to be used to bring hope and healing to someone’s life.

M3ND is providing the education, guidance, and resources to educate and empower individuals to be able to properly respond and get people connected to the resources they need. Victims are going to a number of community members; beauticians, first responders, clergy, neighbors, before they seek services from a local DV program. [M3ND’s training of these individuals] is the missing puzzle piece. DV agencies support M3ND because of the unique and important work they are doing to make our community one with prepared responders.

In June of 2019 we were honored to have Annette Oltmans speak at our workshop to therapists from around the Las Vegas Valley. The overall consensus was an outpouring of accolades and, “When can she come back?” The education, knowledge, research and personal experience Annette brought to the workshop has proven to be invaluable. Annette spoke on matters such as “double abuse” and “original abuse”,
“accountability model of courage” and “healing model of compassion.  She gave us a new perspective, hope and excitement to take to clients in order to help them recover on a firm foundation.

The problem of domestic abuse in Santa Ana is wide-spread, in fact, it has the highest incidence of domestic violence calls in any major city in the state of California. Newsong Church is located in Santa Ana; it is the community that we love and where we seek to live out the hope of the Gospel message; it is where we focus many of our resources to address the real needs and hurts of people. When the opportunity was presented to us by the leadership of The Mend Project to gain a further understanding of the systemic issues surrounding domestic violence and to receive valuable training for our staff members and key leaders, we enthusiastically welcomed the opportunity.

Without a doubt, everybody that participated in the training event was changed as a result of what was learned. Perhaps the most sobering take-away for many of us was how well-intentioned people can unknowingly subject an abused person to even further abuse and emotional wounding. The Mend Project presentation was informative, practical and provided inspiration for us to move forward with a bit more confidence and some new tools to help us be more aware and effective in our ministry to the community we care so deeply about. It is without reservation that I recommend this training to anyone that shares the concern for the pervasive problem of domestic violence.

The MEND Project is boldly going where few are going. Their training has helped our organization enter conversations around gender equality and covert abuse. Each training module brings clarity to subtle and complex issues of covert and double abuse. The MEND Project’s training is invaluable to any organization attempting to pursue justice and mercy by addressing systemic structures of abuse.

Having seen Annette conduct training on Double Abuse, I believe that any church, university, school, or organization would benefit greatly from their curriculum. The MEND Project’s focus on naming hidden abusive tactics and Double Abuse will equip leaders and first responders to feel confident in responding to victims of abuse without doing further harm. This curriculum is critical to fully addressing and preventing abuse.

The MEND Project provided valuable and insightful training to our Licensed Clinical Social Workers. We are so grateful that The MEND Project is addressing the issue of abuse in our society. The training will be indoctrinated into our therapy practice and will be instrumental in breaking the cycle of abuse for our patients. We are hoping that their materials can be translated into Spanish for our Spanish-speaking patients.