Power and Control Wheel as a Tool for Recognizing Abuse

Abuse is so confusing it can be hard to put into words.

What seems like a simple conflict to work through can become muddled and confusing. When abuse is present, it can be hard to see straight, and it is difficult to even parse out what is real.

In this blog, you will be equipped to identify abuse through the Power and Control Wheel.

The Power and Control Wheel as a Tool for Uncovering Abuse

The Power and Control Wheel image below is a helpful tool that victim-survivors or those helping them such as therapists, faith-based leaders, family, and friends, can use to help uncover when abuse is present. It's one respected tool that attempts to explain how overt and covert abuse manifests through intimate partner violence. The content in the power and control wheel features several examples, but no two abuse cases are exactly the same. This means someone can be experiencing abuse while not identifying with the specific examples outlined in the power and control wheel.

If you ever interface with victims of abuse, understanding the way the wheel works is an important part of becoming equipped. If you are being harmed by abuse, seeing and understanding the Power and Control Wheel often brings that “Aha” realization to identify the types of abuse that are happening to you.

Several different organizations and foundations have created their own version of the Power and Control Wheel, but in this blog we are using the wheel created by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs.

Although the examples in this particular Power and Control Wheel focus on male abuse against women, overt and covert abuse can be wielded by anyone in any relationship.

Understanding the Power and Control Wheel

The forms of abuse laid out within the wheel reveal different ways abusers try to downgrade their partner's place in the relationship and keep things off balance. In a healthy relationship there is mutuality and equality. Couples compromise through authentic and vulnerable conversations, where each individual feels safe asserting their thoughts and feelings.

If any one or multiple elements of the Power and Control Wheel are being used by one of the partners, they are taking an abusive, dominant stance instead of a loving, respectful attitude. Even just one abusive tactic shown in the wheel that is repeated throughout a relationship is enough to define an abusive relationship.

Using the Power and Control Wheel to Recognize Covert Abuse

It’s critical to note that while the wheel shown above focuses on specific examples, such as threatening to hurt her, keeping her away from her friends, playing mind games, etc., some abuse tactics can be much more subtle.

Seemingly subtle forms of covert abuse expressions should not be dismissed or considered less harmful than overt abuse: Covert Emotional Abuse can be equally devastating to the victim, leading to severe physical and psychological distress.

For instance, the “using emotional abuse” section of the wheel mentions put-downs and name-calling as forms of abuse. These can be administered in a covert way that not all observers and responders may immediately think of as abuse.

A husband calling his wife the “B” word is clearly wrong, but it is also wrong for someone to name-call or put down their spouse by focusing on their insecurities, expression of emotions, or by making fun of their appearance.

Picking on the spouse for something like calling them “thunder thighs,” “horse face,” or any other nickname that is not aimed to endear and is not uplifting - when done over and over - is extremely emotionally abusive. Its effect is compounded when done in front of others.

Covert manifestations of power and control like the above examples can be even more harmful because they are less likely to be recognized as abusive by the victim and even outsiders which means the abuse could carry on undetected for a long time.

Each of the sections of the wheel containing examples of overt abuse can also show up in more subtle ways, which is an important distinction to make, especially when working with, helping or ministering to individuals who may be in an abusive relationship and not know it.

Utilizing the Power and Control Wheel as a Responder

For responders or anyone who has the opportunity to interact with an abuse victim, understanding the Power and Control wheel and being able to present it to victims in the right contexts can bring clarity to their situation.

Many victims are unaware that the harm they are experiencing qualifies as abuse, so empowering them by properly labeling the destructive behaviors may be the first necessary step to clarifying their situation and leading them into a journey of healing.

To learn more about how the Power and Control Wheel can be used to help explain abuse to responders and victims, visit our trainings page here to learn more about our complete training and curriculum that is ideal for organizations, foundations, schools and faith-based organizations.